“

We started out on the floor and somehow we ended up in bed. There was a lot of kissing and hugging, and it was very tender and gentle. Sean was so sweet. The first time should be special and this one was. . . Do I feel different? No. I feel more of a man, if anything.

“

He has nothing more to imagine or curiosity lingering around in his mind about you. He got what he wanted because you hoped it would make him stay.

“

I love the person that I am and the woman that I’ve grown to be. I never want to feel like I n​eed someone. I just want to w​ant t​hem. This feeling helps me from forcing myself into something that doesn’t necessarily fit.

“

But I stopped laughing – I stopped breathing – when he looked directly at me and said, “I’m glad I’m doing this with you.” The next kiss sucked out any oxygen I had left, and, for a second, not breathing felt incredible.

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Sex early on shifts the focus away from developing an essential emotional connection, and towards the passionate and intense physicality of a new partner. That’s because it’s easy to be blinded by the love potion — the chemicals, such as dopamine and noradrenaline, which enhance excitement and reward.

“

“Lasted about as long as a Ronda Rousey fight.”

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And if you’re awkward like I am, you dance butt naked around your room to “Shake It Off” and shake, like…way too much.

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I squeezed this unknown vessel with question and uncertainty. It was definitely not sexy.