“

He believes sex should be exciting, and he loves the danger of public sex. Elihu’s fantasy is to have sex on top of the Empire State Building, and he told me about his experiences in Brooklyn Heights playgrounds. It’s hard for me to think of him as the same quiet boy I sat next to in social studies class in high school.

“

For eleven years I’ve been using my writing in this diary to articulate life. How do I describe the last two days? I’ve been to Fire Island and back, and so much has happened. Avis is married. Janice is dead. Does any of it make sense?

“

Mikey and I walked through Washington Square Park, a kind of obstacle course of drug dealers who offer their wares in a monotone: “Grass . . . Quaaludes . . . loose joints . . . Tuinals . . . cocaine . . .”

“

Coming home last night at dusk, I was suffused with a pale blue bittersweet kind of emotion. My last class at Richmond College was over, and I felt ecstatic and nostalgic at the same time.