“

She would absolutely quiver about having her eyes licked. I didn’t know that oculolinctus was a thing until I dated her.

“

“When my male dentist has his hands in my mouth so I can’t really close it.”

“

“Me: ‘That gap between your front teeth, now that is kinda cute.’
Her: ‘I…have a gap between my front teeth???’
Me: ‘Err, maybe…’”

“

“On the rare occasion I heard another woman call her boy friend Daddy, it would always weird me out. I would ask, ‘Why? in my head. Now, whenever my girl friend says it, I get the biggest fucking mind boner. I don’t know it just really gets me.”

“

“I really want somebody to amputate one of my limbs and make me eat it while I cry like a little bitch.”

“

“Aliens abducting me and filling my intestines with eggs that’ll kill me when they hatch.”

“

“Scars. Not self-harm scars, just ‘I was stabbed once’ scars.”

“

This chick wanted to be my slave. She would wear a collar, and leash, and just sit in the corner to be used. No cuddling or she would leave.