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I just had a remarkable evening of mind-blowing sex with my husband and I’m not happy about it.

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For years, I would wait patiently for someone to permit me with the title of beauty.

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Thinner is better. At least that’s what 3 year-old girls think.

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My body is quite average, but I have this thigh gap. Am I not sexy, natural, or beautiful because I have something that others cannot attain?

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She said I was “rounder”. I knew what she meant. That’s when I tried it – I tried to stop eating.

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“Girls see enough of this body that we can’t imitate, that we’ll never be able to obtain, these unrealistic expectations…it’s better to look strong and healthy.”

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I gaze at the mirror to inspect my double chin and puffy cheeks. I imagine the conversations the people in my life have about me behind my back about how I’ve put on a few. I scroll through old Facebook photos of when I was skinnier.