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I am so sad you won’t be here to walk me down the aisle or share a dance with me.

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I may not have always had the fatherly interactions I wanted, but I know for sure and can honestly say that I definitely got the dad I always needed. 

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My dad was my best friend. He was my partner in crime.

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I guard myself with sky-high walls, and it’s not because I don’t have massive amounts of love to share, but I just don’t know if my love, my being, my essence could be loved with the same intensity.

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My two children move like air—everywhere you turn, they’re there. Their favorite hideout is under the dinner table, stacking and knocking over dreams.

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I’m sorry, not because I’m not enough, but because you are too blind to realize how hard I’ve tried for you and how much effort I’ve put into this one-sided relationship.

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Five years ago today, you took your last breath here on Earth, and my world has looked a lot different ever since.

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Thank you for teaching me about love and showing me that I don’t always need to be strong, but that a kind heart and happy mind is the greatest home you can build for yourself.

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Show up for your people.

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I can’t pretend I know how I will feel a year from now, or even three months from now, but as I sit here with tears in my eyes, let me tell you: it does get easier.