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All you’ve ever wanted to know (and then some) about women’s porn habits.

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I heard her voice before I saw her — that flirty, monotonous tone that I first heard shrieking in pleasure as her lady-parts got pummeled to by James Deen in Backdoor Teen Mom.

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MILF and mom, Phoenix? Okay. I see you.

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I know your sick, unholy, filth-soaked brains will do nothing but sully this pristine hymn with the sin of your own imagination, but that’s all you.

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Farrah Abrahams is the biggest enigma of the Teen Mom franchise. And she’s just as fake and unsexy as every other porn actor.

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As seen on 16 and Pregnant & Teen Mom.