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Her motto was “living well is the best revenge,” but from all reports, she lived a life of endlessly empty sadness.

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For 27 years of my life I lived on my terms and conditions, was loved by everybody. I was my mom’s lifeline, my dad’s princess, my siblings’ confidante, a little angel, a punching bag and what not; until one fine day, I was married off and my life took a drastic turn.

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She didn’t want to be my mother. She wanted to be my partner, and she wanted me to apply all of my intelligence and learning capabilities to the logistics of managing our lives and household.

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As adults, our parents never sit us down and reassure us that they love us even though they are getting a divorce, and we don’t necessarily want them to. It’s not about being coddled or protected by our parents anymore; for us it is about finding a sense of stability and normalcy that allows us to move forward.

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My life has always been divided into sets of two: rooms, toys, clothes, chores, moms, dads, hugs. I am the child of divorced parents.

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As a divorce coach, it’s something I hear often: a recently divorced woman will talk about her ex and scathingly describe him as a “sociopath” or a “narcissist.”

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You appreciate each parent not only as a single parent, but as an individual