“

“A shaving-cream can. Value size.”

“

“Had a patient come in with a coconut up his ass.”

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Please do not view these pictures if you have a weak stomach.

“

“A flashlight was shining out of the fellow’s orifice.”

“

“My buddy’s dad had a couple came in where they both had genital piercings and while mid-intercourse, their piercings interlocked. They came in stuck together.”

“

I feel emotionally exhausted. Not because of my long wait or relatively simple procedure, but because of the raw humanity. The humanity I work so hard to compartmentalize and hide away.

“

I was a bad mother.

“

Like what Natalie Portman said, “You give me premature ventricular contractions.” Dating someone from the medical field will really make your heart skip a beat, both in a good and bad way.

“

Hell is having to call this man’s parents and tell them that you are fine, but their son is not.