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Tonight I scrubbed all the corners of my apartment and then I stood under the hot shower and washed away all the bleach smell.

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While an individual song on its own is certainly a work of art, a song that demonstrates its importance and significance to the album as a whole is essential for the level of cohesion that I’m looking for. It’s easy to listen to an isolated track and determine whether or not you like it, but understanding that track within the context of the album gives it a whole new meaning.

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1. Acknowledge that you no longer have any privacy.

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“ATLiens”: If Lennon/McCartney had been born in rural Georgia in the late 70s, this is the album they would’ve made.

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I leaned forward because, as one of the students who erroneously thought Shiva was a she, I had a theory, but I wanted to hear what the others said first; and someone, one of the male students, confessed, “Final Fantasy VII!” So I was correct.

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If you don’t like Bob Marley & The Wailers, or this song, then I don’t like you. That is all.

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Are you depressed? You may want to just buy Elliott Smith’s entire discography and save yourself the trouble.

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But now, I am a coffee drinker. Now I can. I can join the cool kids at trendy coffeehouses. I can start listening to Elliott Smith and Ingrid Michaelson. Perhaps date a graphic designer. The possibilities excite me. ?

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Are you sad? Looking to be? A non-exhaustive list for your listening… pleasure.

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There’s a scene in the oft-overlooked Ben Stiller film Tropic Thunder in which an actor (playing an actor) tells another actor (playing an actor) that when portraying a developmentally disabled character in a blockbuster-sized movie, one should never “go full-retard.” Rather, one is advised to “go half-retard;” going “full-retard” puts one at the extreme risk of looking, basically, like a dumbass.