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BUT ANYWAY, so here we are, a duck has died and people are beyond upset.

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*ducks go fuckin nuts*

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Last week a group of crazed ducks estimated to number 100,000 strong stormed the streets of the Thai city of Nakhon Pathon in what was either an organized political protest or a criminal case of “wilding.”

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If I grew a small “Hitler” mustache, but changed absolutely nothing else about myself, but refused to shave it off, ever… would my friends still hang out with me?

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Welcome to your newest — and greatest — waste of time.

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Even in the dark, you are the constellations in the black sky, the campfire in the woods, the firefly against the glass of the mason jar.