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Why do these songs exist? Go to the bathroom, look at your sloppy self in the mirror, panic while refreshing your CNN app, and get another drink.

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Let’s get f*cking wasted, America.

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Because everything’s more fun with alcohol.

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First things first, take a shot if you’re #teamOlitz because you’re great and we should have a conversation about this wondering pairing. Now, let’s get started forrealz!

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For this game, all you’ll need is a bottle of your favorite alcoholic beverage and your Facebook News Feed.

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You will need your favorite liquor, a separate drink, some patience, and a sense of humor.

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It’s called neknomination and it’s really weird. I don’t recommend doing this.

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Every time your drunk uncles (drunkles?) get into a fight about sports/politics/religion.

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1. He hangs quick lefts.

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Do a bro-tastic Jägerbomb every time Colin Kaepernick does his trademark bicep kiss.