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Rigmarole: ‘Every time I ask her to do the dishes, she starts giving me a bunch of rigmarole.’

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There’s a certain artistry that goes into making an apology, particularly if it’s destined for an audience.

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It’s not that a fake apology is just unsatisfying; it’s insulting. It’s saying that not only are you not going to dignify the person you wronged with an actual admission of culpability or remorse, it’s that you’re also presenting them with a facsimile of said admission that they now have to respond to as though it were real.