“

I find that most times, when I do decide to go after a person that I want, they hardly ever fit that typical person I picture I see in my mind.

“

Look, Mom, the “most women are probably too intimidated to approach him” thing is a myth, just like Zeus, getting AIDS from toilet seats, and simultaneous orgasms. Beautiful girls literally throw themselves at him all the time. Literally. They, like, jump off trampolines and go hurtling through the air.

“

In four months you’ll run into each other at Target and comment on how good it is to see one another again, then one of you will say, “…Yeah, well, I gotta get back. But really, let’s get together this week. Seriously this time. I’ll text you tomorrow, promise!” You’ll probably never see this person again.