“

It’s important that we explore the new types of jeans fashion week has bestowed upon us, and then collectively toss our boyfriend jeans in the trash.

“

I woke up this morning to discover some very interesting news. Marques’Almeida, a brand I’ve been repping since I first laid eyes on their premier collection in 2011, has finally caught on.

“

4. She might be a cowboy.

“

In celebration of a new denim collection born and worn by a generation of creative talents in Africa, award winning director Sean Metelerkamp created a short film that’ll be presented by DIESEL and EDUN.

“

I wonder: has anyone ever dated me for my jeans? How can I be absolutely sure that my girlfriend of more than five years isn’t just playing the long game for the ultimate prize?

“

Like all the best movies, they are not too short (Tobias Fünke), nor too long (90s Sk8r boys). Like all the best American flags, they are not too faded nor too ripped. Like all the best Canadian tuxedos, they are made from denim.

“

I shudder to think of all the matching Nickelback T’s I saw fathers and sons sporting. (Sidenote: as it turns out, Nickelback concerts provide a hysterical exception to the “don’t wear a band’s t-shirt to their show” rule.)

“

Here’s a circa 1987 fashion show brought to you buy JC Penny and Dancin’ On Air, a program that ran from the early to late 80s, in which its ‘characters’ rode some extreme denim waves on a regular basis, among other adorable 80s things.

“

In the late 20th century, perhaps as existential concession to the futility of remaining attractive after marriage, and in part due to the late capitalist compulsion to buy crap indiscriminately, something awful happened known as Mom Jeans.

“

The business suit — a pain in the ass, no doubt, and rarely attractive — marks a clear line between home and work. It is a uniform that declares: “This is me at work. There is another me that is, frankly, none of your business.” In the old days, you couldn’t get a job if your hair was long, your nose pierced, and tattoos covered your arms.