Though it’s been over a decade since Drake played the aspiring rapper who was paralyzed from the waist down, it turns out he’s still making a little side money from his old gig.
1. Insist that Canada isn’t really a country.
Glitter keychains that said things like “100% Angel.” (Bonus points if they said “100% Devil” on the back.)
Do you belong to a Facebook group called, “North Kennedy High Promz 2012, so we don’t all wear the same dress, OMG”? Have you recently been made aware by Katy Perry, or someone who sounds a lot like Katy Perry, that you are, in fact, a firework?
I know it’s customary not to kiss and tell, but it’s been like… twenty years. Did you really go down on him in a theater? You can’t just dangle that juicy steak of a detail in front of us and expect that we’ll all forget about it and move on with our lives.
Such curious timing, that someone you were digging hard shows up eons late to the game and they’re suddenly all about you. Is it your haircut? A new job? Or is it that your former crush is mistaking your disinterest for independence?
Paige Michalchuk — You’ve been prescribed what people would deem “fun” pills but refuse to share them with friends because you “actually need them.”
Well, you know what they (I) say – Thursday is the new Friday. People who have successfully mastered post-college socializing have been out every night of the week and are holding on for dear life by the time Friday rolls around.
I can’t fake anything, really. I inherited from my mother the complete inability to lie or pretend anything. If she’s unhappy, everyone in the room knows it. If she’s enjoying something, everyone in the room knows it. Her face cannot tell lies, and neither can mine.
With anorexia, you’re terrified of being caught. You work hard so no one notices, but they probably do. My friends did. One has brought it up, but we didn’t use the word “Anorexia,” because only crazy people are “Anorexic,” right?