Even when your head knows someone is gone, it takes time for your heart to process it.
Death of a loved one
It doesn’t matter how many years have passed, because I am always going to miss you with the same intensity. I am always going to hate how early you left this earth.
Nothing can prepare you for the loss of a loved one. My world turned upside down that day, and every belief and construct I had relied on to define how my world worked were all of the sudden meaningless.
There are days I’ll go back to his Facebook page and the angel wings photo that hasn’t changed. But then there are days when his page will come to me. I swallow the rock in my throat.
Goodbye for me has been a lot of games of Tetris. A lot of music on full blast. A lot of weeping into pillows and staring into ceilings. A lot of second glances at sunsets and talks with God. A few 6PM bedtimes and breakdowns in the middle of a workday.
I wanted the truth. I wanted it to hurt, because pain makes people stay together.