Creepy Catalog

How To Be A Funny Person

Struggle with finding somebody to love. Once you finally do, try not to let your insecurities infect the relationship. They’ll be very funny, perhaps even funnier than you, and you’ll be challenged. Don’t screw it up. Oh my god, you might screw it up.

A Guide to Facebook Protocol/Etiquette

It’s mostly because the network adds another complicated dimension to what are already complicated enough social dynamics. But while there are commonly accepted guidelines for what to do IRL social situations, no such thing exists for Facebook. Here are my suggestions for protocol in responding to common Facebook occurrences.

Jersey Shore: So Everyone Pretty Much Hates Each Other Now

Everyone hates Sam and Ronnie because they are always in their creepy couple world. At one point, everyone is downstairs hanging out while they huddle together in their room as if they’re on the island of Survivor. Sam whispers to Ronnie, “You have no idea what I’m going through” and Ronnie’s all, “I love you so much.” I haven’t seen a relationship like theirs since the ninth grade and, quite frankly, it’s scary seeing a grown couple act so immature and cultish.

The Williamsturd: A Post-Post-Feminist Phenomenon

I was mortified by this ruse, which would’ve been charming when I was 13. He then insisted on smoking pot in such plain sight, I was embarrassed, and then we pushed on to another bar. I lagged behind as he wheeled his fixed gear bike to the closest bar, where he had a water and tipped with his last dollar.

Everything You Didn’t Really Care To Know About The Real Housewives

At this point, it’s safe to say that Bravo’s Real Housewives franchise has made an indelible mark on pop culture. Since its conception in 2006, there’s been six installments, record deals, spin-offs, sex tapes, book deals and exhaustive tabloid coverage for these delusional divas, allowing them to transition from legends in their own mind to sort of/kind of legends in real life.

Ten Great, But Oft-Overlooked, Beatles Songs

As a temporary resident of Liverpool, a city which plays up its Beatles-related legacy with almost religious zeal, I learned a few things very quickly. The first lesson? When you’ve seen one Beatles tribute act, you’ve seen them all. Although the Fab Four had a wildly prolific career, writing more than 300 songs (not even brushing solo material), the same 40 or so selections seem to make up the core of the regional tribute repertoire here.

Scientology Continues To Be Creepy, Take Over The World

Scientology honestly feels like a giant joke that’s being played on society. A religion created solely for celebrities and rich people is a genius and utterly terrifying idea. With their celebrity centers, fancy parties and steep payments, the religion has preyed upon the wealthy’s need to feel special and V.I.P. by creating an enclave for the elite.