Aries: Three well tequila shots
SEX ON THE BEACH
Just likes the looks she gets when she orders this.
Taurus: Plants in the windowsill, a purse full of spell sachets, browsing the animal shelter thinking, “Is this cat my familiar?”
It doesn’t matter how cute your lacy thongs are or how horny you make your man when he catches a glimpse of the straps. You shouldn’t be wearing uncomfortable underwear every single day.
Start a tradition or stick to an old one. For about the past five years, I have spent one night a week before Christmas watching The Holiday and wrapping gifts while drinking an entire bottle of wine. It’s just what I do.
Aries: He doesn’t think your girlfriend material because you love to go out…and stay out.
Sharing an impressive gallery of damning screenshots that the two of you plan to use to take over the world one day
A shot of tequila? Where did this come from? Is someone trying to roofie me?
If he wants you, he WILL go and get you.
There will come a time when you can look back at your relationship devoid of the attachment. You will recognize it as a time shared between two people that grew you by virtue of its existence and ended when it could no longer serve you.