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She told me that Lori got engaged to her boyfriend on her birthday last weekend, but we didn’t talk about the consquences of Lori moving out. I know that it wouldn’t be good for me to move in with Ronna. I just wish she could find a great guy who’d give her the marriage and kids that she wants.

“

After the Inner Circle dinner, Frank called Teresa into his office and berated her for being “a floozy and a flake.” He said she can’t keep her mouth shut and has to change her personality if she’s going to stay in P.R. and politics. Teresa was very upset and said she couldn’t help it if this married guy latched onto her.

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Gwen, Crad reported, died when she choked on her own vomit in her sleep following a combination of alcohol and barbiturates: “I think she pushed me out of her life because she couldn’t stand me anymore and felt I was making her sick. Her last note to me was completely free of rancor, however, so I prefer to think that she harbored no bad feelings toward me at the end.”

“

At City Deli in the 163rd Street Mall, the turkey on rye was really good, but I lost my appetite as I glanced at a USA Today article about the parents of an AIDS patient who died in March. Suddenly I put their last name and the face of the guy in the photo together and realized it was Lance! He died at University Hospital in Irvine just after his 31st birthday.

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Dad and Mom hired a girl to help them at the flea market; she’s in her eighth month of pregnancy with her fourth child, and she isn’t even 21 yet. A high school dropout, she’s unmarried and lives with her mother and her mother’s fourth husband. Dad said the girl is “stupid, but she can sell.”

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We made love until about 1 AM, and this morning the alarm woke us at 8:30 AM. It was terrific to hold someone in my arms that early, when I had the pleasure of being in a half-dreamy state. I hate to analyze our relationship; I just know it felt good.

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I am rarely taken aback, but yesterday I was speechless for a moment when I was renewing my driver’s license and was asked, “Are you currently addicted to drugs?” “I’m sorry,” said the young woman behind the desk, “but we have to ask you this question.” “No, I’m not.” “Some people say yes,” she told me. It’s a wild world.

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Scott flattered my vanity by asking if I’d been working out. We got into the Camaro – “This is the last car I’d expect you to be driving,” Scott said – and I took him down Commercial Boulevard to A1A and then along the Strip by the beach, where Scott was surprised at the young crowd.

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Marshall might not have all the answers, but he’s intelligent and has experienced a lot, including several years in a monastery and Haight-Ashbury in the Summer of Love 19 years ago. There are times when I like having the company of my family.

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For the past week, I’ve begun to feel certain that I’ll have the HTLV-III antibody in my blood. After all, if I could have the hepatitis B antibody, why not the one from AIDS? I keep thinking that somehow I’ve forgotten sexual encounters I’ve had.