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“All I know was that it tasted better than Brussels sprouts.”

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You’ll laugh til you cry because all these are so spot on.

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“The extreme sex coupled with his love of shark week will make for an ocean romp he’ll NEVER forget!”

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No one woman’s words changed my life as much as Joni Mitchell.

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Listen up, fellas, and shut your mouths before I kill you all.

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3. Never leave the house without twenty dollars, mascara, and ChapStick.

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Day in and day out, I hear(or read) women asking what men want in a woman, or out of a relationship. So hold on to your chairs as I’m about to reveal some simple truths about us.

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1. Nobody’s quite sure if your fashion sense is phenomenally outdated, or blazingly cutting edge.

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The Butt Facial: Yeah, We Know. But It’ll Make Yours Silky Smooth — Whether this is a procedure to make my face more like my butt, or my butt more like my face, I’m going to have to decline.

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The bathroom is the Mecca for unused products and makeup is just scraping the surface.