If you’re still confused that she’s giving consent, she’s not.
No one tells you that it is only true consent if you’re doing it for your own enjoyment, not just because you want someone else to be happy, or you want them to love you, or because you think it’s expected.
Regardless of whether I consented to taking the photos or whether I did not, I’ve suffered the same emotional distress and a life in shambles as a result of these pictures being posted online without my consent. I’ve been humiliated and ashamed of people even knowing my name. I’m afraid to meet anyone new and tell them my name for fear that they will find these images.
If you haven’t heard of “stealthing,” you’re one of the lucky ones. Vice called it a “movement”; USA Today called it a “sex trend.” I call it an “act of human violation.”
The problem with shoving things under the rug is that they are still present. These things will continue to cause issues unless we deal with them.
For a while I wiped this experience from my memory completely. I went on living my life as if this stranger hadn’t crossed the ultimate line of complete invasion of space.
Here’s why Hannah Baker herself deserved a damn tape.
Take this in: rape culture exists because we as people like to think that it does not.
He rested his hand on my knee. There was no pullback. There was no apology. I felt violated but did not want to create another opportunity for him to use me as verbal target practice. My body became limb and abandoned me.
Every victim of assault or rape has acted in ways that do not align with the image of the “perfect victim.” Yet this is often irrelevant when it comes to rape – a crime in which the focus of interrogation should be the perpetrator, but is usually the victim.