“

If your partner says it doesn’t feel as good with a condom, suggest trying out a new kind of thinner or texturized ones.

“

“I laughed him out of my vagina.”

“

“I said no, she kept going, it hurt.”

“

“We take off our clothes and she has a brown doo-doo line in her underwear.”

“

“Panties with used pantyliner stuck to them. Spread allover the bathroom floor.”

“

“I thought condoms were a piece of candy you ate so you didn’t get pregnant.”

“

“I went into jail with one sock and a condom still on.”

“

I am a single woman, and the biggest hurdle to my sex life is condoms.

“

“President Trump.”

“

“I’m pretty sure she told me she was on the Pill.”