What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel!
Your Barbies won’t make it out alive.
“I once held hands in a circle with nine other guys while we both danced to and sang along with Shania Twain’s ‘I Feel Like a Woman.’”
The way you get good at tennis, comedy, music, nutrition, relationships, is the way you get good at business, success, living a long and healthy life.
“If I get home from work before my girlfriend, I will cuddle the cats and talk to them in a cute-ish high-pitched voice.”
Dear concerned interrogators, I know you mean well. But I just threw my cap in the air, my diploma isn’t coming in the mail for six months, and the last of my Stuff by Hilary Duff is just making its way to Goodwill.
“She didn’t know how to insert a tampon.”
“He didn’t understand the concept of time zones and thought people in a different time zone could tell the future. The whole relationship was a mistake.”
When I’m just about to cum, like literally a second away, please don’t change what you are doing. Don’t suddenly change speed or technique. Just keep doing EXACTLY what you were doing.