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It felt like college never happened at all.

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Come with cash.

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My time there captured the stereotypical joys of white Americans as no other place could. I’ve been to Texas and I’ve been to Paris Review readings; both are white in a very distinct way, but each repudiates the other, thus reflecting only half the diversity of white Americans.

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You may remember said college from a film titled We Are Marshall starring Matthew McConaughey (or, he who dampens Southern mammaws’ panties). We were very excited about this, despite the fact that the premise of the film is “Marshall’s football team was great… until everyone on the team died in a fiery plane crash.”

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Unburdened by your backpack, you wander around campus and notice tiny white flowers on trees and cracked brick sidewalks and meticulously cut, impossibly green grass, and you wonder how you never noticed them before…