“

You love them. They love you. But will you still love each other after you’ve moved in together?

“

Avoiding each other is nearly impossible when living together, and definitely miserable. So hey, just kiss and make up already.

“

“Fart freely. If he’s around I’ll hold it in…unless I physically can’t, but even then, I try to make it a quiet one.”

“

I’ll give it to you straight: living together is hard work and life gets weird.

“

At the time, this relationship held me together, albeit in maladaptive ways. He was like craft glue holding a flimsy bookshelf.

“

You’ve been dating for a few months now (or maybe even a couple of years) — things are great and moving in together seems like the most logical next step in your relationship.

“

There will be dishes. Lots of ’em. And dirty as hell. I do not care how long or how short of a time that you have been living by yourself. When it comes to food, we all eat.

“

“Honestly, I liked living with a guy better than I liked living with a girl. He never had any bitchy mood swings, and he always had a condom if I ever needed one.”

“

Some form of mystery is important.

“

Navigating bathroom use is an awkward and inevitable thing. Eventually they will be aware of the fact that you’re doing a number two, and it’s up to you to decide how far you’re willing to go in the interest of preserving the mystery.