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Mentioning your favorite chain coffee shop is like discussing politics. You just don’t do it.

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I hate hipsters and their overbearing, tiresome ways. Or at least, I really used to. Let me explain.

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I learned that it’s always startling if any stranger tries to talk to you in a bank, but exceedingly more startling if they whisper “nice ass…” It’s like, do you want my number? My pin? Because it’s unclear.