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Are you destined to find love?

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Pick your poison.

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I took one ice cube out of my top and worked it down my body.

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You drink too much on an empty stomach at an after-work cocktails thing, and corner a co-worker. You go on a rant that begins with your thoughts about Sarah Michelle Gellar’s career missteps, but somehow ends up on your troubled relationship with your stepmother.

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“This is your most challenging and dangerous mission. Fear and excitement are now your companions!”

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…No direction home.

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You send forth a text through the great network in the sky to Greg. “Hey man can I borrow your printer? Maybe today or tomorrow? Thanks.” Proceed to 3.

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I’ve never made a Bucket List. No list of lists is complete without this Lord of Lists, the King of Columns, Emperor of Enumerations, if you will. So let’s take a stab at it.