“

You love wine, like, you’d rather die than not drink wine.

“

“It’s more enjoyable to have sex with the person who you get drunk with, eat pizza with, do stupid shit with, and love. I’d pick that over a random girl anytime. You’d have to be stupid not to.”

“

I believe our greatest power against men is the power to say No.

“

4.
“I’m a male feminist.”

“

Hey I just met you, and your hands are pretty, and here’s my number, I might be crazy.

“

From behind I noticed her hot pink dress, which ends barely low enough to cover up her firm, well-shaped ass. Her blonde hair is wild like that of an 80’s glam-rock video whore.

“

For all the feminist talk about blowing up gender roles, random chicks at bars prefer to stick to tradition. They want the man to be dominant.

“

Today, I own two pieces of Starbucks’ merchandise. Well, kind of. And I hate myself for it. Well…kind of.

“

Yo. You’re hot. That really you in those pics? Hope you not Catfishin’ me.”

“

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy my current living situation. Actually, no. Love my living situation. I live with 4 college friends, 3 of whom I’ve lived with for the better part of the last 6 years. We have a huge, albeit frequently messy, house. We have no neighbors. We have enough parking. We have a laissez-faire landlord. A “young professional frat house” as it’s been graciously been called.