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Thanks for telling me about the 5% of your weekend I didn’t already see on social media.

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Why spend your hard earned money on a gift when you can make dad laugh instead?

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Only about 1,100 of this card’s alpha version were printed and it has been the most valuable and rare Magic card for pretty much the entire history of the game.

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The Valentine’s Day cards you find at the store have to be broad and generic in order to sell as many as possible. That’s great for their bottom line, but not so good for you if you need something very specific.

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I love Valentine’s Day. It’s so monumentally important. I met a tourist last week. I think he was from Canada or Asia or somewhere… and he asked me, like, what it was all about.

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I told you, right now, I couldn’t be your forever. We talked about if animals understood forever. Because, so far, every forever we’ve heard has always ended.

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Fran Lebowitz said it best: “If you’re a New Yorker and you run into another New Yorker in Times Square, it’s like running into someone at a gay bar in the 70s – you make up excuses about why you’re there.” I wasn’t a New Yorker. So off we went.