Thought Catalog


Softboys Are Just Assholes In Disguise

What do women do when they like a guy? Have sex with him. (No, not all the time, but like, a lot of the time.) Yes, that’s what I’m saying – the softboy is being nice to you because he wants to have sex with you, same as the badboy asshole. At least the bad boy was honest.

How To Get A Boyfriend

Write a letter of complaint to Netfix when they send you the movie Mr. Right starring popular inoffensive lesbian Ellen DeGeneres instead of an actual Mr. Right.

You Don’t Like Me

“He hates answering text messages during the daylight hours.” “He’s just grumpy around people with faces and hair so he doesn’t want to meet any of my friends.”