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“Basic white guys in the US wear:
• New Balance shoes
• Gap/Levi’s jeans
• Band T-shirt
• College hoodie.”

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“Don’t touch me. I don’t know you. No, not even the whole ‘pat on the shoulder’ thing. Also; no I will NOT hug you, random dude. I don’t want to touch you.”

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“I’ll cry if anything happens to that smile.”

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Is his name something like Brad? Or Brock? Is he, like, the third Brad or Brock in his family?

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Robby: You’re a) a huge fangirl of Jojo’s mom and b) unaware that Robby (probably) has a secret girlfriend back home.

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I’m the girl that every guy is dying to be friends with, but not dying to be with.

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I want to wear flannel and listen to Ryan Adams and be a shitty parent basically.

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#1: Know what teams are playing.

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You are the guinea pig of their tragic pickup lines and attempts at flirting. So for the love of God (and hope for all the females out there) help them figure out what to say and how to text.

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First of all, thanks. Super big thanks from me. This conversation is going to be the small highlight of my day.