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Before you make the possibly life-altering decision to go and have a meal at Waffle House, I believe it is my duty as a reporter to inform you of what could happen.

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Step 8: Wait until mixture becomes puffy and looks like it will explode all over your microwave. Remove when it looks most like the Hindenburg.

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If your inner child could see you now, they would weep with the virulence of learning that Santa doesn’t exist. While you’re on your daily quest for fiber and regularity, remember that ghost of your innocence and mix it up every once in a while.