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“I posed for a private all-female Catholic college as a figure model for their art class and got a boner.”

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“The first time my wife and I had sex, she licked me clean afterwards. She hasn’t done it since.”

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“At my uncle’s funeral. My cousin looks really hot when she is crying. Yes. I’m going to hell.”

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“I’d walk around town rockin’ a boner in basketball shorts.”

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“What does a vagina feel like when you’re inside of it?”

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“Two or three times a day for me. It’s not as extreme as some women would think.”

“

“Start like a butterfly landing on a flower, finish like a bulldog eating mayonnaise.”

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“Why are some guys’ butt cheeks bare and some hairy?”

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Just like hearts, penises can be broken.

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3. The way they incessantly touch their testicles.