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“How utterly socially alone we are sometimes.”

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We love the sounds our bodies make. As a crass woman I’m perpetually delighted in each and every fart, gasp, sigh, rumble, queef, or slap my body produces.

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My sister can walk just fine, she just didn’t feel like it.

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Nothing conjures in me such a pure, unadulterated feeling of jealousy as when I see a child in a public space being soothed mid-tantrum by a pack of cookies or a soft pretzel. How wonderful, how beautiful, how incredibly worth living life would be if you could just scream and scream and scream, and then someone would just hand you a cupcake to shut you up?