If you’re dating a writer and they don’t write about you — whether it’s good or bad — then they don’t love you. They just don’t.
Like, I feel like media criticism is to an extent an established discipline, but in what way are traditional ideas of ‘criticism’ relevant to what we’d call ‘new media’? Is the glut of 90s-nostalgia Tumblrs operated by ironic 20-year-olds a phenomenon worthy of a note in the cultural history books, or is it aberrant, unnoticed?
This article is intended as an explicatory primer on/ analysis of the Lana Del Rey phenomenon that you can send to your Facebook friends, your mother, your coworker who has just heard of her yesterday, or to someone who says to you next year, “oh yeah, what was the deal with that one singer last year again?”
“…You are a panhandler, begging for anything, and I am the man walking briskly by, tossing a quarter or so into your paper cup. I can afford to give you this. This does not break me. I give you virtually everything I have. I give you all of the best things I have, and while these things are things that I like, memories that I treasure, good or bad, like the pictures of my family on my walls I can show them to you without diminishing them. I can afford to give you everything.”
I just, no matter how much wrinkle cream I preemptively put around my eyes in hopes of staving off those unfortunate early-thirties crow’s feet, I’ll never feel like I’m truly staying young enough. I see 20-year-olds running around my neighborhood and, Christ, they have so much time ahead of them.
“…Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”
Behold: 10 best farts! 5 coolest celebrity high-fives! 6.5 ways to hernia! 43 best “Rolling In The Deep” high-school choir covers! 3 trombones! With this orderly spirit in mind, here’s this edition of The Superlative Top 10 List of Lists of Things that Are Definitively in a List for 2011.