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Did you know you can just tell people they aren’t allowed to disrespect you? Was I out sick the day everyone learned this in school?

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Do a pub crawl in your own home. Set up different drinks in different areas of your home. Have some wine and cheese in the living room. Have some champagne and chocolate in the bedroom. Get creative with your night inside! 

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Yes, you may have surpassed the age of ring pops and finger puppet favors, but your birthday is still a day to be celebrated.

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Buy a plain, wooden puzzle and ask your guests to all sign separate pieces. After the party, you can stick the pieces together and glue them down so you have your own unique piece of art!

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1. I promise to try to always be happy, no matter what.

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I once had a 40-something professor who said he’d never date a woman over 25. Maybe that’s why this year feels like such an expiration date.

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Compulsion to do is the opposite of being. It’s the opposite of being present.

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Why do candles love birthdays so much?
They just wanna get lit!

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May 30: Your pessimism and proclivity to jump to the worst case scenario has been holding you back. It has been stopping you from reaching your full potential. 

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The worst part about birthdays is that they come with so much pressure. Pressure to have fun. Pressure to hang out with friends. Pressure for this one specific day to be better than all of the others.