“

Even if my friends give me words of assurance, those wandering eyes of everyone else at the pool don’t help.

“

I feel like I want to hug this poor lady for what we both just went through but she looks like she wants nothing to do with me ever again and I can’t blame her.

“

What’s the point of contouring if it’s just going to drip down my face? On those days where the humidity is booming and the sun is shining, I look like a parody YouTube makeup tutorial.

“

She said she was a pro at handling pain, which made me feel better about putting hot wax on a fragile old lady.

“

There are tons of different directions that swimsuit designer Jessica Rey could have taken when critiquing the swimsuit. The direction she chose to take, however, was one step back for womankind.

“

IT’S SUMMER.

I LOVE SUMMER.

BUT GUESS WHAT? I ALSO HATE SUMMER.

“

And you were very pointed in saying you weren’t judging women who post these shots. Rather, it was more like you were asking them a personal favor. For you. For your marriage. But the thing is… well, you can’t really ask the internet for a personal favor.

“

Or maybe Ann Taylor is just doing their part to raise awareness for shark attack victims.