You know how you write something and edit it and edit it and edit it and you think it sounds great and really sings and sounds smart and poetic? Well, it most likely isn’t as good as what Lish does when he’s just talking and winging it.
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During this time the individual will have several windows open, generally several browser ‘tabs,’ a Microsoft Word document in some state of incompletion, the individual’s own Facebook page as well as that of another randomly-selected individual who may or may not be on the ‘friends’ list, 2-5 Gchat conversations that are no longer immediately active, possibly iTunes and a ‘client’ for Twitter.
People who select “busy” as their GChat status, which turns the circle next to their name red, are not usually busy. When you type something to a “busy” contact, the program warns: “[Contact] is busy. You may be interrupting.” “May,” indeed. If they were busy, they’d be invisible.
The Top 8- a feature in which a Myspace user could rate their eight most important friendships based on who they liked better that day-literally destroyed relationships. At first, it was fun to have your 8 best friends hanging out next to each other on a website because, oh my god, you loved them and you wanted everyone to know it! But then it just turned into an evil passive-agressive tool.
One of the largest, softest, most complex areas of the human body is the ass. That asses are both sexual and fecal seems vaguely confusing. One considers the dual nature of asses and thinks “Freud, did Freud write about this, seems like he didn’t, seems like maybe he didn’t.” Asses are actually pretty rare. They seem to manifest mostly on mammals with 4 limbs of a certain length. Studies have shown that the ass evolved from the tail.
I kissed and whiskered the ass of a priest one night. The priest was an old man, a barrel, and he was of the catholic faith. We were leaving a restaurant at the same time and met at the door. After a drink at the bar across the street, we wound up in his bed in the rectory of his church. He said, “Pull the covers up over us so God can’t see.”
Then he grew a little white. But Dan was already really white so he turned more of a grayish-green color like pale people (gross) always do. His hue was quickly waning. Dan had long black stringy hair and a gigantic mouth that was always smiling and laughing but it also took up most of his face because it was so big. You know those people whose faces are all mouth.
Feel resigned about the fact that sex sometimes doesn’t happen for weeks. Start to feel apathetic about lack of intimacy, orgasm and physical touch. Become overly silly. Hide the fact that you’re not addressing her problems with jokes, funny voices, inappropriately loud talking and tickling.