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No SOS signal from this girl.

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Pocahontas makes you feel really inadequate.

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I’m here to set the record straight (seeing as NONE of us were born with the flawless hair and easy femininity of Disney Princesses). The Internet quizzes have been lying to you. Here’s what your favorite Disney Princess ACTUALLY says about you.

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8. You sometimes describe yourself as having been “born too late” or “having an old soul.”

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5. The original title of ‘The Lion King’ was ‘King of the Jungle’ — which was scrapped when the Disney team remembered that lions don’t live in the jungle.

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First and foremost, Beast was rich. Whatever his complex family situation was before he told off the world’s bitchiest old lady and got transformed into a that-time-of-the-month Professor Lupin, he clearly came from a serious trust fund.

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You are the girl that every girl asks “OMG WHAT PRODUCT DO YOU USE” when you post selfies on your blog. You have got the perfect combination of length, well-conditioned softness, and complete absence of ugly breakage or split ends.