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I went back to Ronna’s, ostensibly for tea. Once settled in the kitchen, however, she gave me a hug and kiss, and I responded, and as we have so many times before, we ended up all over one another. I suggested we move from the kitchen, where we were vertical, to the bedroom, where we got horizontal.

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Finishing up at the warehouse, Josh and I took a drive out on State Road 84 to the Alligator Alley toll both, had lunch at Taco Viva, and picked up some tasteless alligator-bites-girl postcards for Josh to send the folks back home.

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The time reads 3:53AM and I can hear the sprinklers outside as I’m writing this, and I have a feeling I’m going to hate myself in a few hours when the sun rises.

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What really made me feel good today was an acceptance of the story I wrote just two weeks ago. Telescope, an influential and intelligent little magazine, wants “My Basic Problem” for their “male feminism” issue! And they sent me a lovely acceptance letter with a contract specifying a $6-per-page payment.

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You can find inspiration and motivation as a writer without inducing soul-crushing creative pressure.

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The past four years have taught me that there’s truth in the written word – and I’m eager, now to go out there and chase it.

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I wrote about you and what I’ve experienced through you. So little, seeming like a lot, so I wrote thinking I knew. I didn’t.

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I think everyone who creates anything feels this way and so I pushed through.

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At Noodles on 72nd and Amsterdam, Ronna seemed a little weird, and when we started dinner, she told me she’d had a date on Thursday with a guy in publishing. She said she wanted to “clarify” things, but I wasn’t sure what she meant. I told her it didn’t bother me at all that she would see other guys and I encouraged her to do so.

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I took the 96th Street bus to see her, and we did laundry and brought in Sichuan food and had a good talk. Then, in her bedroom, we fooled around. It was great but also sad because I may not see her for a long time. After all these years, I still love Ronna and am just as attracted to her as when we started dating back in college.