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This is what that kid from Stuart Little and The Little Vampire looks like now.

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Beanie Babies are worthless. WORTHLESS.

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Five years ago, I packed up everything with my name scribbled on it and stuffed it into the leather backseat of my car.

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Creepy Crawlers.

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1998: Selling Beanie Babies on eBay

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Beanie babies rose to fame around the same time the internet did, so you can only imagine how COOL and IMPORTANT it was to have a website all about our beloved beanie baby creatures.

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Here, a primer for when your future children want to know what the hell you were doing with your boxy, multicolored electronics.

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The unreliability of our connections turns private chat into a revolving door. “BRB, dad needs phone.” “Sorry, modem froze.” We hate 56K but we don’t know of anything better. To forget the screech of the modem struggling to reconnect, we play the soundtrack of America Online once we’ve safely returned to chat.