What I do know is that I’m hurting because you left. And now I’m alone, and forced to be strong, and to figure out who I am in the darkness.
Walk in circles for a while if you need to. Just whatever you do, find out what is on the other side. There are so many brighter sights to see than this dim, fading light that you’ve been fighting to turn off.
Life is too fragile to settle for a partner who is abusive, for a connection that is one-sided, for being with someone who sucks the energy and happiness from you on a daily basis. You are a person of value. You deserve care. You deserve respect.
Strength comes from promises that were broken.
They don’t tell you that strength is fleeting. They don’t warn you about how lonely it gets. They don’t tell you how badly you will want someone, anyone to just hold your hand while you’re being poked and prodded.
But this is what you do when you are broken. You pick yourself up, piece by piece. You re-learn the strongest parts of yourself and fight until you break through.
Have I chosen the wrong people? Do I value impulse and pleasure too highly? Have I fallen behind my school friends?