1. The F.O.B: Fresh Off The Boat. With their frilly Hello Kitty sweaters and pleated mini skirts, you can probably hear them first before noticing their quirky fashion sense.
That old banana always puts you before anyone else, even a significant other. You’ve honestly never even SEEN that old banana with another living person or banana—you’re not even really sure about what that old banana is into sexually.
You’re not getting off the hook either, Kleptomaniac. Specifically, Kleptomaniac-who takes-eight-year-old’s-ocean-bingo-playing-cards-and-action-figures.
If I had given the angel on the other shoulder a chance to rebut, she would have explained the foolish tradeoff I was making. I gain twenty minutes or so of low-brow pleasure.