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For me, it’s important to dress consciously, lest I misconstrue the fact that Julia Nobis looks stunning in full clown makeup to mean that I probably would as well.

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In “Dream Closets,” I’ll be documenting my favorite closets around New York and the personalities behind each of them.

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Greed is so ugly.

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Which one are you?

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Drive a nice car and occasionally deal with a hit and run. Rebecca Gayheart and Brandy have both accidentally killed people with their cars, okay? It’s chic!

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We don’t condone shoplifting because it’s illegal, embarrassing, and so 2002. But if you’re really jonesing to channel your inner Winona, here are some tips you should follow to avoid being arrested and taken to Shame Spiral Jail.

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Your daily looks are the following: I’m Writing My Suicide Note In Boca, Where Downtown Meets Midtown Meltdown, I’m Going Out With Paul The Banker Tonight And I’m Going To Let Him Put It Anywhere, Cocktails With My Gurls,  Audrey Hepburn CLASSIC CHIC, Why Won’t He Call Me Back?, This Is Me Being Serious Right Now, Edgy, More Edgy, Just A Little Bit of Edgy.

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I am one of those straight dudes who happens to live with an incontrollable gay vibe around himself. I’m comfortable with the fact that I’m into girls, but my taste in music (GAGA!), fashion (BALENCIAGA!), and my hobbies (KNITTING!) seem to mislead many people, particularly impressionable young gay dudes, into ignoring what I say when I try to be honest about my sexual preferences.

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In honor of International Women’s Day, I want to blog about all the fucked up things women have to deal with that men don’t. This extends beyond childbirth and periods. I know I don’t have a vagina, but I’m gay so that means I get 30% of what it feels like to be a girl and 100% get what it feels like to be a second-class citizen. So put on your feminists hats (mine is from Balenciaga) and let’s get outraged.

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Tell me I have great tits. Tell me you like the smell of sweat. These are small things that I can believe and I will believe them more if you show me, and believe me, all I want is to believe. Show me how you stroke your cock when you wake up in the morning and you have a little time.