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What’s holding you back more than anything is the self-belief that these things are true.

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Everyone has baggage. Everyone has bad habits. But not everyone talks about how grueling it is to heal yourself from them.

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My unsolicited advice: treat every man according to his own individual merit. Reward behavior you enjoy, admonish behavior you don’t like. Leave the past where it is.

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I can be fun and happy, and I deserve to be with this person as much as they deserve to be with me.

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I wouldn’t have such a warped sense of self. I wouldn’t have such a dark sense of humor. I wouldn’t have so many nasty things to say about myself.

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I’m trying to love him like a confident woman who knows her worth.

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I don’t want someone whose baggage goes with mine. I just want someone who can identify and carry their own.

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Yes, you have baggage. Yes, you are screwed up. But everyone is. 

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You don’t fault them for having trust issues or abandonment issues. You don’t make them feel guilty about where they have come from or the lingering pain they are still trying to cope with. You support them. You encourage them. You stand by their side and help them in any way possible.

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Just because your partner has a lengthy past doesn’t mean you can’t have a long, fulfilling future.