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Look, I know you’re just trying to be helpful, but spouting off a bunch of cliches after a horrible breakup is the last thing anyone needs.

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Somehow he rejected me when I didn’t even want him. I think people seriously overestimate how easy it is out there for a lady to get lucky. I have theories as to why, but we won’t go into that here.

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Once you have identified the man you want, using these rules you SHOULD get you that ring in no longer than nine months.

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10. He never asks you back to his place because the coffin is too small.