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WHY?!?!?!

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I’m iffy as to whether or not Bachelor Nation can really provide the high caliber man someone like Rachel deserves.

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Nick Viall has officially been named the next Bachelor, and majority of Bachelor Nation is sighing, swooning, and quite possibly giggling with glee.

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Britt (6:1 odds)

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You text me a bunch of emoticons like a dancing woman, a cactus, a lightning bolt, and a glass a wine, and then you say, “Have a great day!”

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Sometimes it seems as though I’ll never get it figured out. Sometimes I just want to give up on the idea of love altogether. Honestly, that would probably save me a lot of time and heartache.

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You know what you get for party favors.

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Weddings are constantly getting bigger and more extravagant thanks to the omnipowerful wedding-industrial complex.

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Such an obvious statement shouldn’t even have to be said… Right? Wrong. Way, way wrong.

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Get the bride-to-be drunk enough on fruity cocktails and sangria that she’s unable to protest your decision to herd the group over to trashiest bar you can Yelp.