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You apologize when you don’t need to apologize. You draw negative attention to yourself. You don’t pick up on body language.

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Hope you didn’t need to actually THINK about anything for the next couple of weeks.

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Silence is your own personal hell, and you would rather ask someone if they like cheese, or tell them about your favourite stray cat, than sit in it for more than thirty seconds.

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11. Everyday objects quickly become deadly weapons.

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Should you get up and ask for more directions? Or should you just shoot them an email even though your supervisor is only 4 cubicles away? What is the proper protocol here?

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I know some other girl out there doesn’t even have to try.

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So Hannah has slipped and showed signs of immaturity. Oh, the horror! Except wait; isn’t this normally a mark of a true human being, complete with all of our humanly flaws?

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Sometimes I don’t understand people who call themselves “awkward.” Really?

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A pervasive air of discomfort is what you’re aiming for. Not just for you, but for everyone around you.

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When you run into an ex with their new significant other, you know it must be because you did something terrible in a past life, like drown puppies or play in a ska band.