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You are still in that phase where you’re really into sex but you can only deal with so much post-coital spooning before you’re like, “Please leave, I want to watch Netflix and eat food by myself.”

“

Unless you are starting the night swigging some Smirnoff from the bottle and announcing how you are just trying to get “white girl wasted” and “grind on some randos,” there is no way you’re going to have a good time.

“

3. Always have your phone on you. Pretending to be occupied removes you from having any responsibility or involvement in the uncomfortable things happening around you.