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This wasn’t a new thing. Many insomniacs will tell you that even after finding sweet relief that only sleep can bring, we’re always wondering when it’s going to happen again.

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Thanks to Taylor Swift’s song “22,” there was a great deal of excitement about turning 22.

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I had a few small seizures during English class, but kept fidgeting so people wouldn’t notice. They’re going to stop soon, I kept thinking. Just keep calm and stay focused on something.

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Like the meat product from which it gets the name, spam is a special sort of deception. The promise sounds great: it’s easy, it knows us inside and out, all we could ever possibly desire is right there within the particulars of its offer. Spam knows how complicated my life is most of the time and has made it simple for me.

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On the bus I sipped gin and started to feel shitty. I passed out and when I was in New Jersey near Manhattan, I woke up and felt great. I called my roommate and told him that we had to party as soon as I got back. At my apartment, the two of us railed the rest of the Ativan and drank a 24oz can of Bud each. I was feeling tired, so I bought an Adderall off of him and took that.

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I can’t count the times I’ve had conversations with my college friends about how irritating Derrida is, or Foucault, or any theory with a capital “T.” Now that’s all moot. I used to question the point of Lacanian film theory. Now I question the point of getting out of bed.